NanoCrackfics
by InfectedByEli
Summary: Very short scenes, totally AU, just a bit of fun.
1. Scene 1

John inserted her chip and sat back to wait for the reboot.

[Rebooting]

[System scan – all systems working at full capacity]

Cameron sat up and greeted John with a friendly "Hello"

"Er, hello" replied John with a certain reluctance.

"John? Why are you acting strange.......why are my clothes twisted and untidy......and where is my bra?"

"Is that Mom I can hear?........gotta go..........catch you later."

John hastily leaves her bedroom.

Cameron's eyes narrow at his receding form, while calculating the probability that John is turning into a sex pest.


	2. Scene 2

They stared into each other's eyes for seconds, but it seemed like minutes.

John examined those brown eyes, as they examined him.

Both visualising futures that may never happen.

Sarah wouldn't understand that they were meant for each other, destined for each other.

She would never sanction such an unnatural union.

John new he had to leave. Take his true love and run away.

With a determined mind he stood and held out his hand. Morris took it and they walked away, together for ever.


	3. Scene 3

"Hey Savanah. Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Errm...yeah sure John Henry, go ahead" Savanah smiles at me, but I am not convinced that she is at all sure about this.

"Well...there are these two atoms..."

"What kind of atoms?" a voice from behind rudely interrupts.

"What? Oh. It really doesn't matter" I couldn't help but be annoyed at Derek. 'Oh look, the monkey asked a question, good monkey' I internally berate.

"I'm sure it matters to the atoms."

I stare incredulously at Derek's stupidity. Allowing Savanah to smirk at my annoyance behind my back. "Atoms aren't sentient, they have no concept of........anything."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes" I insist.

"So these atoms, that don't care what they are, they don't speak in this joke of yours? Not being sentient and all."

I realises I have underestimated Derek, not much, but some. I treat Derek to the blankest of blank expressions for 6.37 seconds, upon which I return my gaze to Savanah "Anyway....these two atoms are...."

"Ooh, a joke?" exclaims John Connor, as he and Cameron saunter, uninvited mind you, into MY lab.

"Oh sweet Je...." I mutter under my breath as everyone turns to greet the 'new messiah', and his pet.

"Don't stop on our account" says John, expectantly.

I let out a sigh. Then start again. "There are these two atoms, walking down the road" I pause, awaiting the next interruption. It doesn't arrive. "One says to the other, 'I've lost an electron'. The other says 'Are you sure?' The first one replies 'Yes, I'm positive'" I glance around, flitting from one to another of the faces in front of me, expecting to hear raucous laughter from all present.

Instead, I am greeted with blank, awkward expressions from everyone. Everyone, that is, except Cameron. Cameron is beside herself. More to the point, she is beside me. She is damaging my calm, so I leave the monkeys staring at the laughing robot, nonplussed in their collective ignorance.....I am so alone.

.


	4. Scene 4

Cameron looks intently at John. "Okay, everything is set."

John slowly breathes out, glad that the hard part is over. "Now we just have to wait for some-one to wander past and trigger it."

Cameron nods in agreement.

Derek comes round the corner, moving to the target position.

John rotates the handle and they all shout "Mousetrap" as the mechanism bursts into life. Balls running down stairs and pushing rods, and bigger balls falling, and a bath tub.....

Resulting in the inevitable capture of Derek's mouse.

"Okay, who shouted 'Rodent Trap?'" John demands.

Cameron half raises her hand in confession and is buried under a hail of cushions.

:)


	5. Scene 5

AN: This one isn't very funny but it's an idea I've had in my head for a while, and now it's out.

.

John stands up and strides purposefully towards the door. On the way he picks up the Glock that is on the table.

"_Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?_"

John's eyes roll in their sockets. 'Oh God, not this again, please'. But he knows it's useless to hope. Again, he regrets giving 'Jimi Hedrix's complete works' as a Builtday present to Cameron. If he had known what she would do....

"I'm going out, and I'm going alone."

"_May I whisper in your ear...  
Say something you ought to hear..._"

*sigh* "Like what?"

"_You got me sitting up on the shelf_  
_while you're out bewitching someone else._"

"I'm going to meet Derek, not 'someone else'"

"_Tomorrow I shall have you by my side_"

"You'll have me by your side later, when I come back from seeing Derek. He's going on a mission with my Mom"

Cameron's whole mood changes to a hopeful one, "_You say your Mom ain't home_"

"Er, no. She'll be back tomorrow"

"_So all we got, baby, is one precious night._"

"What the hell are you suggesting?"

"_I won't do you no harm, no._"

"I'm glad to hear it"

"_I ain't gonna hurt ya, baby._"

"Yeah, you said that already"

John turns and leaves the house, and doesn't hear Cameron mutter "_Either way I'm gonna win_"

.


End file.
